Hearing myself first to be seen by others

I recently realized that while I don’t think I hold a lot of expectations, I have one big one: that I expect those close to me to accept me without judgment. As I looked deeper however, I realized I didn’t accept (aka respect) parts of myself enough to advocate on my own behalf in some critical areas, to some key people, in my life.
I subdue parts of me to be more of how I believed myself to be in doing so: kind, flexible, and loving.
I turns out not to be so kind, flexible, and loving, because in order to “keep the peace,” I didn’t honor (listen to) myself, which created tension within, which created tension in relationship. No one knows what’s going on when this happens. Only one thing is clear: no one feels heard or understood.
The moment I dropped the act – it wasn’t easy, and it definitely rocked the boat – I felt the release of self-oppression, and a wave of Self coming back to me, and I almost immediately got heard again. My communications became more succinct because I stopped feeling defensive. While it feels a lot like tough love, it’s really a more tender love, and I know that my own release released others around me to find their ownership.

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