Do or do not, there is no try

I recently listened to a podcast where the host, Rich Roll*, interviewed Todd Herman, who coaches athletes and executives to run at peak performance. To determine whether or not he engages them as a client, Todd asks:

“Are you interested, or are you committed?”

There is technically no right or wrong answer to this, but there is definitely a huge difference between the two in how we put ourselves out there and how we behave when we run into obstacles.

There are some things we are committed to, and some things we are interested in. Personally, I am interested in a whole lot of things and committed to a few. It’s good to know the difference. It can save us a lot of time, money and mental anguish when things don’t go because we’ve confused interest for commitment. For me, having this question as a litmus test is already shifting my own decision making process. It’s helping me get through the bullshit so much faster. How awesome is that?

*if you haven’t listened to his podcast, what are you waiting for?

How do you love?

When we say “I love you,” we have a subject, verb and object. Love is in the position of action.

We love something when we feed, pay attention or act in service to it.

We love what we continually think and talk about. How we angle our dialogue speaks to what we actually love. Do we love to be right by focusing on the seeming mal-intent or shortcomings of others? Or do we love ourselves and others by looking to what might really be going on and assuming the best of what they can give at the moment?

If something needs to be called on and worked through in a relationship, can we focus our attention on that which we can truly change? Can we say, “how can I manage, do, or see this differently to affect the change that I want?” Because change doesn’t happen by putting someone down or by telling the other person that they are wrong. It happens through our ownership of it. And when we do that, we act in service to what we truly love: peace and harmony. When we can’t, we may be acting in service of our own sense of lack, of needing to feel right, which we then perpetuate.

Whether or not we know it, the objects of our love grow. How we love them is how we experience them.

It’s worth noting

that whatever you do, every time that you do it, you get better at it.

Every time you hit that snooze button, you get better at delaying getting up, for instance. When you want to break that, it will take that much more effort, because you are breaking a habit, but each time you do, you will get better at getting up the first time around.

Every time you give something your full presence, the easier it gets to give something your full presence.

The WHY in motivation

It’s dangerous to become rote in certain things, because it doesn’t help in remembering why we are doing them. The true meaning of our actions disappear, creating bondage in our shoulds instead of finding liberation in our actions.

A close friend once shared how much resistance she had towards doing a certain 3-minute meditation, and how long those minutes stretched to forever. That certain meditation is for cultivating prosperity, so I asked, “What is your resistance to prosperity?” And she essentially said, “Oh, I didn’t look at it that way.”

Having practiced that meditation myself, I totally get how long those 3 minutes could feel. At face value, no 3-meditation magically pours “prosperity” over you each day you practice them without making additional shifts, but they do trigger and open access to the internal powers we have that’s been buried under social programming.

Understanding that we were doing the meditation to open that up is a different motivation than doing it because we’ve committed to a 3 minute meditation.

Harnessing your WHY carries you forward. Not just in meditation, but in life. If it doesn’t, perhaps the WHY needs to be revisited.

Wishes and beliefs

It helps to know the difference. We have wishes, desires and yearnings. If they come from a place of scarcity or a sense of unattainability, they point to beliefs that are different from reaching for something that is paired with a sense of “if I do this, I can get there.”

Beliefs have teeth. They are what our actions align with, even if different from our desires. Observe what yours are. Knowing them may help reveal why realizing desires in some areas of your life is more difficult than in others.