Wonder why sometimes what (s)he does bothers you and at other times it doesn’t?

It depends on whether or not your tank is full. 

When you are emotionally triggered, your gas gauge is telling you to fill up. 

Every human being has spiritual hungers, which have to do with matters of existing: hunger to exist, to be seen, to be heard, to be touched, to be loved, to be affirmed, to be respected, to be understood, to matter, to know another person, to feel connected to others, to love, to express, to experience fully, to learn, to trust, to touch, to be valued, to make a difference, to fulfill one’s purpose, to know God… 

In truth, everything we do in our life is a way to make us feel whole, which, in essence, is our hunger to know God, or to know oneSelf.

The more whole you feel, the less triggered you are. 

When you are feeling slighted, angry, or frustrated, instead of concluding that it’s because the other person did something to you, ask yourself, what am I hungry for that this person could have this much power over me?

Identify your spiritual hunger and then take ownership for getting that hunger met. It doesn’t have to be met by the person who triggered you. Get creative. You can find ways to affirm yourself. You can ask someone to say something good about you– you’d be surprised how amazingly thoughtful and generous they can be in answering your request. You can ask another person to give you a hug and not let go for at least 10 seconds. You can ask your significant other if (s)he would put away the dishes tonight. The point is, you are making a clear request. No one has to guess what you want. And what a relieve for both of you!

This practice not only gets to the source of your pain, but it helps improve communication, and it makes you less vulnerable to triggers.

A time for compassion

In this time (of the Aquarian Age), 1/3 of the population will commit suicide, 1/3 will go mad, and 1/3 will wake up.  

Yogi Bhajan

Just a few days ago, I reached out to my brother in San Francisco to make sure he and his family were doing okay with the smoke coming from the fires; they were wearing masks. Today, friends from Los Angeles reached out to make sure we were safe. There was a shooting at Chicago’s Mercy Hospital where people died. 

Hopefully you identify with the third of the people who are waking up. Because things are crazy right now. 

If you are, it’s time to let go of judgment and have compassion for the amount of pain and fear that the world is experiencing. It will be your light, strength, and love that will make the difference. It will be the community of light, strength and love that will provide solace to those in despair and confusion. Safety goes beyond the physical. We are in such a spiritual crisis, people are choosing to leave their physical bodies, and some are taking others with them, and it will be in finding ourselves – in our togetherness – that will create the healing and transformation we need to find peace. Plugging into our communities is vital. 

Stop sharing things that divide. Ask yourself, is what I am sharing or saying elevating? We need the elevation. Judgment doesn’t serve to educate and change others for the better. It divides and creates hate. At the end of the day, every person wants to feel acknowledged, and it is from that place that peace and healing can happen. Find a way. Be the light. 

Here is a powerful prayer to recite when it feels like things are falling apart for yourself or for someone else. Recite it for the planet.

Love before me
Love behind me
Love at my left
Love at my right
Love above me
Love below me
Love unto me
Love in my surroundings
Love to all
Love to the Universe

Peace before me
Peace behind me
Peace at my left
Peace at my right
Peace above me
Peace below me
Peace unto me
Peace in my surroundings
Peace to all
Peace to the Universe

Light before me
Light behind me
Light at my left
Light at my right
Light above me
Light below me
Light unto me
Light in my surroundings
Light to all
Light to the Universe

Are you an enabler?

  1. You are allowed to set boundaries.
  2. You are allowed to wave bye bye to anyone who doesn’t respect them

–source unknown

This isn’t about changing someone. It’s about changing yourself. It’s about creating healthy boundaries so that you aren’t left feeling less than.

I.e.: used, abused, unappreciated, forced, desperate, drained, side-tracked, compromised, addicted.

The more you do what compromises your soul, the more you lose yourself in the weakness, hopelessness, childishness and cruelty of others.

Close your eyes to get your answer. Find a way to express yourself anchored in that answer rather than lost in any question. Understand that you are not asking. Your answer is not up for debate. Come from a place of compassion because you can only be enabling someone who is in pain or fear, and therefore that person will feel attacked and afraid. You can understand the difficulty in that situation without losing yourself in the process.

This is why the heart center resides between the navel and throat.

You might feel something stuck in your throat – an expression that is afraid to come out. Or maybe you feel an ache in your heart – this circumstance is so hard, so heartbreaking or you feel betrayed. Or you feel it in your gut, like you got punched in the stomach. Or all the way down, like this is shaking up your sense of security.

Either way, close your eyes and connect with the heart center, where your soul’s desires and Truth reside. Then connect with the navel center to find your courage to protect your divine right to unapologetically exist, and journey back up through the heart center to connect with the compassion you have for the other person and the experiences they have had, and the work they are doing that you will no longer be doing for them, and then move up to your throat center to unapologetically express. May it be clear, firm, unwavering, and kind in saying “no”.

The key is to come from self-love and compassion rather than from a punitive or judging place. They won’t like what you are doing because getting the enabling rug pulled out from underneath feels unreasonable, inconvenient, hurtful, mean and shocking. It will feel like you are changing the rules on them. It will feel like you are changing a long contracted agreement. They will both be true. And you will have done the most loving thing for yourself and for the other person. Because you will have liberated both of you from the co-dependency, empowering both of you to move forward with the work each of you were meant to do.

Sat Nam.

Dare to Declare: the practice

Kundalini Yoga guides you back to You, reconnecting you to the Guru within.

The practice of Kundalini Yoga is a gift of unfolding and revealing. But that’s just the launch.

The practice extends beyond your yoga and meditation space and into your interactions with others.

The practice not only reveals, but it strengthens intuition and brings with it an experience of boundlessness, sense of okay-ness, and fearlessness.

Your yoga practice is just that: a practice. It becomes real when you take those gifts into your day. When you harness them and take advantage of the inner strength cultivated through the yoga to take action according to who you are, without the mask.

The real practice happens when you dare to declare.

Dare to declare who you are: the tool

“Dare to declare who you are. It is not far from the shores of silence to the boundaries of speech. The path is not long, but the way is deep. You must not only walk there, you must be prepared to leap.” – Hildegard Von Bingen

A psychotherapist asked me the other day about the benefits of Kundalini Yoga. Bottom line:

  1. It strengthens your nervous system.
  2. It connects you to your inner compass.

Those two things are necessary to navigate your world with self integrity, to experience boundlessness, and to feel whole in yourself.

Kundalini Yoga offers clarity, a frame of mind that can see beyond the daily drama, and the strength and ability to respond from an internal point of reference.

It heals, transforms, and gives you wings.

And you become the inspiration for others to do the same.

Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately. But also fortunately.

People don’t always respond in the way you want them to, or the way you think they should.



if you can trust, be patient and allow them to marinate on what you’ve said, you might notice that they were listening and are working to honor your request, even though they exploded on you. You just may not get the verbal acknowledgment you were looking for.

It doesn’t always work because people aren’t always ready to hear you. But it happens more often than you think, and with a lot less grief.