Don’t beat yourself up.
Don’t let it define you.
Don’t let it define someone else.
Don’t create a story that makes you feel worse.
Believe it or not, that story is your sabotage, not truth.
Don’t let other people’s stories define you.
Whatever happened that made you feel the way you feel happened, and your feelings are real.
Your stories are not.
But those stories are indeed like another event that happened – just in your head – and they hijack your ability to work through the actual event.
DO feel what you are feeling. Feel it fully. Move your attention to your body. Live and breathe in the feeling. It’s yours and it’s real.
Is it coursing through your veins? Clutching your stomach? Closing up your throat? Aching your back? Tensing your shoulders? Heating you up (where in your body)? Giving you a headache (is it dull, sharp, shooting, where)? Is your body crying inside? How do you know? What does it feel like?
Instead of resisting them by trying to make them go away so quickly, delve into them and feel them lovingly and compassionately. Breathe as you do.
Just like you want to be seen and heard, your body wants the same; see and hear your body. You want to matter, so rather than ignoring your body, give mattering to your body, because you do matter. If you can give it to yourself first, you will find it easier to receive it from others.
This is a vital part of moving through your emotions.
If you give yourself a little time to see and hear yourself, then you can hear what your Self needs to work this through. If you can give yourself some time to matter, your actions will matter to you. Otherwise, you relegate yourself to your story that unfairly defines you and informs your actions and quality of life. And, well, you know that story.