it’s really difficult to be open about it, or to change, when
you roll your eyes at me.
you make me feel stupid about it.
you yell at me.
you categorize me negatively, even though you say it’s not negative.
you try to school or fix me.
you tell me I don’t get it.
you decide I’m not worth the time.
you avoid me.
you make me out to be the villain in your (or someone else’s) life.
An apology can’t happen because you are asking me to apologize for being out of integrity when I really truly felt that I acted in integrity, and that I did my best.
Wait.
Is this how I make you feel?
I think I need to turn this around for a moment. Please bear with me.
I’ve been open to change, and I know that I have made big changes a number of times in my life, and even small changes along the way.
What external forces helped me to change to assist my inner courage to emerge and rise above the need to defend my ego?
I didn’t feel stripped of my humanity, feeling the need to defend the value of my very existence. Thank you.
I was given the benefit of the doubt that I had my reasons that seemed reasonable to me based on contexts that may never be revealed to you, and possibly even to me, because we humans sometimes act from our unconsciousness. Thank you.
Our disagreement did not put our relationship on the line. You showed me that things don’t always iron out in one or two conversations or even in this lifetime, and that that was okay, you still saw me as worthwhile even though you didn’t agree with me or condone my behavior. Thank you!
Okay.
I need to work on treating you better when I feel polarized.
Savitree Kaur 