I was raised in a middle class household by Asian parents who never made me feel like I was good enough.
My sister would say I turned out “stronger” because they were tougher on me than her.
I married a man who showed me a “richer” life.
Though I loved him, during this time I developed allergies for the first time in my life, and I was diagnosed with clinical depression and sent off with a prescription of Prozac followed by many years of therapy.
I divorced when my children were 4 and 1 years old. Over the next few years, we lost all of our assets built up over 14 years, followed by nearly a decade of having barely enough to pay for basics, a lot of boundary setting and negotiating.
I was never more creative in my life. Never more grateful. I found my work and my people. I learned to ask for help, which I used to think was weakness, and during this time I got to learn that no one does anything… no one succeeds… on their own. No one. I learned that the right kind of community and friendship is vital for sustaining oneself as a human. I was full; wanted for nothing. My allergies disappeared early on. The body doesn’t take long to respond in kind.
Today, I have the privilege of co-owning a studio and all of the challenges and rewards that come with it, creating a community that I love, and continuing to witness my children grow into adults. I have a partner with whom I have been lucky enough to have traveled to 10 countries in 3 years, and who is also so different than me. This presents itself as both delights and challenges.
I learned that it takes a lot of intention and commitment to tame the afflictions that come with affluenza (my allergies came back a little bit…). I learned that it’s much easier to be exclusively liberal (or conservative) than inclusively human. Lots of internal tantrums ensue as I learn what it means to be inclusive and compassionate in action rather than swaddled in the comforts of my choir. I also have children who show me what both sides look like as they each reflect the different parts of me.
Also, while traveling is wonderful, the activity I found to broaden the mind, offer the greatest sense of peace and understanding, and open up access to metacognition is the travel that one does from the inside: from the navel center to the heart, and through honest, devotional meditation. It takes you everywhere you need to go without limits. No external resources necessary. Highest yield ever.
Savitree Kaur 