We reject ourselves

We are so afraid of rejection, of being found out that we are not good enough, of not being seen and acknowledged, that we don’t act from the deepest parts of who we are— the stuff we want to come out but won’t dare to be so bold.

Our fears are there because we aren’t being ourselves in the first place for others to reject. We have disassociated with those parts of ourselves that are unapologetically who we are and instead we have become some watered-down version of ourselves.

We have learned to hide ourselves behind a facade that started when we were children when it wasn’t okay to express honestly and have the adults in our lives respond back in a way that doesn’t spoil, reject, abandon, shame, or squash us. Where instead they heard and acknowledged us.

Our fears are there because now as adults we have internalized those misguiding rules without realizing that they aren’t ours to begin with, and so we don’t know that we can let them go.

We don’t know that if we decide to disagree with these internalizations, we will be okay; that they don’t define us. Self-acceptance is scary because we don’t know what will happen. We haven’t been ourselves for so long, so we reject the possibilities; we reject the dream. And in being not who we are, we expect to feel good because we are somewhat comfortable in being agreeable, and we expect for others to love us for who we are. Which doesn’t make sense, so we reject ourselves deeper.

What if we decide to agree with, or believe in, only those things that allow us to love and accept ourselves? What would happen if we consciously disagree with (decide not to believe in) those which feed our self-doubt and seek to keep us locked in the familiar behaviors that limit who we are? What if we decide to leave this nightmare and show up untethered so that others have the opportunity to finally accept who we are? What if, instead of rejecting our true nature, we finally decided to love who we are? And what if that self-love was contagious, inspirational and healing to the world?

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