Holding Space: it serves you more than you know

November 5, 2018 § Leave a comment

Treat the next person you talk to as someone whose trust and respect you wish to earn. This means you won’t take them for granted, nor make any assumptions based on “they should know…”

That person wants to be treated like a human being, and all human beings want to be seen, heard and understood. What if you could gift them this experience?

Here’s an exercise:

Go in to your next interaction without any agenda but to be fully there. Take an exhale, surrender into that moment, look at that person with genuine happiness to be there with them, smile, and say, how are you, or ask any real question, and truly want to know.

There are no thoughts running through your mind on how you will respond or what you wish to say. Just listen intently because you care. This is your opportunity to really see the other person. As well as yourself.

Make eye contact. Let the breath respond while they talk.

If you feel so compelled to interrupt, offer a solution, or talk about yourself, even if it’s something related to what they were saying… first ask yourself, what is your need? What are you hungry for? Can you hold back for now to be the fulfiller? Can you stop your thoughts in your tracks about what you will say when they’re done? Can you trust that you will have something worthwhile you say later if you do that? Or will this be about you? You decide. Compare and contrast how it feels to interact this way versus another.  

Holding space for someone like this, even upon saying hello, is a good skill to cultivate. Try it with a client, a friend, your significant other, co-worker, family member, anyone. You may find that you get a lot more back in return, and you will learn a lot more about them (as well as yourself), in the process.

 

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